


Addiction

by gatsbyindenial



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (1974), The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heart Attacks, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatsbyindenial/pseuds/gatsbyindenial
Summary: Gatsby struggles with an addiction. Nick tries to help him recover.
Relationships: Nick Carraway & Jay Gatsby, Nick Carraway/Jay Gatsby
Kudos: 8





	1. One - Nick

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warning: alcoholism and problems caused by it

I had hoped that seeing him would make me feel better. Unfortunately it did quite the opposite. 

Gatsby used to be great. But now… he's different. It's as if his life during the winter months he was away was full of nothing but disappointments and tragedies.

He had become obsessed with and addicted to alcohol. I'm not sure why. That doesn't really matter anyways. All I care about is helping Jay get back to being great.


	2. Two - Nick

"Jay, please put the bottle down," I plea worriedly. 

"I will not be doing that," Jay slurs. 

I gently pry the bottle of liquor from Gatsby's hand and set it on the table. Jay frowns at me. He's on the verge of tears. Drunk tears or genuine tears I'm not sure. But either way it breaks my heart.

I take his shaky hands in mine. "I just want the best for you. I don't know why you resorted to drinking. You don't have to tell me. I just want you to stop before it becomes even more of a problem for you."

"I'll be fine, old sport."

"No, Jay, you won't be. Alcohol addiction is a serious concern. It can lead to health issues."

"I know that, but I'm not addicted. I can stop anytime I want to," Gatsby insists.

"Then stop now. For me," I beg.

"Alright. I'll stop."

"Do you promise?"

"I do, old sport," Gastby promises.

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Jay."

"Anything for you, Nick."


	3. Three - Gatsby

At about nine o'clock, Nick gets up and leaves to go home. I want him to stay. I want him to stay and I can't tell him that. Not because it's late and he has to get to bed, but because I love him. I came back from my trip this winter early to see Nick. I was so lonely without him.

I couldn't stand being without him. Without his kind eyes and welcoming smile. So I came back. 

Just forget about him already. He'd think you're insane if he ever found out, I think as I reach for another bottle of alcohol. I know I told Nick I'd stop, and I will, but just for tonight I want to forget how I feel. This will be the last time I drink too much. I promised Nick.


	4. Four - Gatsby

I wake up terribly hungover. Last night after Nick left was uneventful. All I did was get drunk and I fell asleep on the couch without meaning to.

I check the clock and see it's noon. I'm supposed to meet Wolfsheim for lunch at one. I suppose I should be getting ready now. 

I groggily get up off the couch and head to my bedroom. I search through my shirts trying to find the perfect one for what seems like hours, but it's only a few minutes.

After I'm done getting ready I wait for Wolfsheim to arrive. At ten after twelve I'm a little worried he won't show up, but the butler enters the room telling me that my guest has arrived.

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible," explains Meyer.

I smile at him. "That's alright, old sport. All that matters is you're here now. Let's sit."

We take a seat at the dining room table while the butlers and maids bring out the food and drinks. Meyer pours himself a big glass of alcohol and then offers me some. I decline, of course.

Wolfsheim raises an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Gatsby? You love this stuff."

"I'm trying to cut back on how much I drink," I answer.

"What for?"

"For a friend."

"I see. You don't mind if I still drink, do you?"

"No of course not. Drink as much as you please."

"Swell."

"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Ah right," Meyer says. "Just a few small things."

"Business things?" I wonder.

"Yes. Business things."  
I wake up terribly hungover. Last night after Nick left was uneventful. All I did was get drunk and I fell asleep on the couch without meaning to.

I check the clock and see it's noon. I'm supposed to meet Wolfsheim for lunch at one. I suppose I should be getting ready now. 

I groggily get up off the couch and head to my bedroom. I search through my shirts trying to find the perfect one for what seems like hours, but it's only a few minutes.

After I'm done getting ready I wait for Wolfsheim to arrive. At ten after twelve I'm a little worried he won't show up, but the butler enters the room telling me that my guest has arrived.

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible," explains Meyer.

I smile at him. "That's alright, old sport. All that matters is you're here now. Let's sit."

We take a seat at the dining room table while the butlers and maids bring out the food and drinks. Meyer pours himself a big glass of alcohol and then offers me some. I decline, of course.

Wolfsheim raises an eyebrow. "What's the matter, Gatsby? You love this stuff."

"I'm trying to cut back on how much I drink," I answer.

"What for?"

"For a friend."

"I see. You don't mind if I still drink, do you?"

"No of course not. Drink as much as you please."

"Swell."

"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Ah right," Meyer says. "Just a few small things."

"Business things?" I wonder.

"Yes. Business things."


	5. Five - Nick

Before bed I call up Jay to check on him. Today would be his first day without alcohol, if he's trying to quit like I asked. 

After a few rings Gatsby answers with, "Hello old sport!"

"Hello Jay! I called to check on you. Are you doing okay without alcohol?" I inquire.

"To be honest with you Nick, I drank today. I refused a drink at lunch today! But after Wolfsheim left I had an urge too strong to resist. It wasn't enough to get me too terribly drunk."

"Jay-"

"I'm sorry Nick," Jay interrupts.

"It's alright. I'm proud of you for saying no at lunch. That's a good start."

"Really?"

"Of course. Just keep trying, okay?"

"I will. I promise you. I'll try until I get better."

"Thank you Jay."

"It's getting late. We should get to bed."

"Goodnight Gatsby. Sleep well."

"Goodnight old sport."

I hang up the phone and let out the breath I'd been holding. I'm not tired enough to sleep yet, so I decide to write. I'm going to write about everything that's on my mind.

_I love Gatsby. I'm in love with Gatsby and he will never know it. He'd hate me if I told him. He'd be disgusted with me. I wish I could have him. I just want him to be okay. I know he'll get better, I just know it. If we could be together life would be grand. We could live in his mansion together. In the afternoons we could go swimming. We could dance around the halls while no one's watching. That's all I want but I'll never have it. Such a sad life this is._

__

__

I'm tired now, so I set the pen down. I crumple up the paper and toss it. Someday I'll get over my feelings. This might be the best way to start.


	6. Six - Nick

Birds chirp loudly outside my window, causing me to wake. I rub my eyes and then slowly get up off the mattress. I get dressed and head to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. 

Sitting at the table is a half naked Gatsby. I blush at the sight of it. He's eating a cookie and has a cup of something in front of him.

"Uhh Jay? What are you doing here? In hardly any clothes?" I ask quietly.

He turns his head to face me. "Hello Nick. I'm not sure."

"You're not sure. Are you drunk?"

"Maybe," he answers.

"Jay."

"Nick."

"We talked about this Jay. You're supposed to stop drinking."

"I know," he says. "I'll stop after I finish this glass of whiskey. I promise."

"You promised before and you still aren't stopping."

"I know, I- I just- it's so hard Nicky."

I smile at him calling me Nicky. That was the first time he's called me that and I find it just adorable. I sit down at the table across from him. "Why do you drink?" 

"What?"

"What are you trying to solve by getting drunk all the time?" 

"I have… feelings."

"Feelings."

"Yes. Bad feelings."

"About what?" I pry. 

"Nothing," he says quickly. "Can we stop talking about it please?"

"Alright." I take the glass out of his hands and dump it in the sink. "Let's get you home and cleaned up." 

"You don't have to come with, I'll be okay on my own." Gatsby stands up too fast and nearly falls over, but I steady him.

"No, I'm coming with you," I insist.

"Whatever you say, old sport."


	7. Seven - Gatsby

During the walk home, my mind is racing. _Nick walking me home and cleaning me up is quite romantic. But how could I be so stupid as to walk right into his house drunk and just sit there in only my underclothes? I should've left when I sobered, but I was still so disoriented I wasn't thinking straight. He's probably mad that I'm still getting drunk even after promising I'd stop. I'm a failure. He'll never love me. Don't think that way, Gatsby. He may never love you, that much is true. But you're not a failure. You're trying and that's what counts._

"Ah here we are, old sport," I say as we arrive at the gates to my home. _I really ought to stop calling him old sport, _I think, _I call everyone that. _Nick isn't like everyone else. Nick is special.__ __

__

__

__The gates open and I lead Nick to the doors. One of the staff opens it for us and I thank him. I can tell he's trying not to pay attention to the fact that I'm in my underclothes. I don't blame him, I must look like a fool walking into my home like this._ _

__Nick and I walk to the bathroom closest to my room. He wears one of the small towels for me and starts to gently wipe off my face. Once he's done he hands me my comb and I brush through my messy hair._ _

__"You're looking better already," Nick says. Then his eyes widen and he adds, "Not that you didn't look fine before. More than fine. You looked good. Now you look even better. And I'm sure once you put on whatever you're planning on wearing today, you'll look even better."_ _

__I chuckle softly. "Nick darling, you're rambling."_ _

__His cheeks redden a bit. Was it because I called him darling? Or was it because he was embarrassed that he was talking a lot?_ _

__"Well anyways, you should get dressed. I'll wait out back by the pool," Nick says. He scurries off, leaving me to myself._ _

__I go to my room and get dressed in my light blue suit. I check in the mirror to make sure I look alright before heading out to Nick._ _


	8. Eight - Nick

Gatsby appears beside me after a short while. We stand in silence. I can tell he's looking at me, but I don't say anything.

"Any plans today?" Gatsby asks.

"Oh, I have to get to work soon. I should probably get going," I answer.

"Would you like to come over after work? We can go swimming," Gatsby suggests.

"Sure. I'd love to." 

"I'll look forward to it," Jay says, smiling.

"Great. See you then, Jay." 

"See you then, Nick."


	9. Nine - Gatsby

_Drink some more, Gatsby. That's all you're good at, _my thoughts tell me.__

___No, shut up. I made a promise. I'm not doing that. I'm better than that, _I remind myself._ _ __

__

__

_____Come on. Just one drink. One drink won't hurt. I guess that's true. I'll only have one. Then I'll stop. Yeah that'll be fine. ____ _ _ _

______I reach for the bottle resting on the table and take a sip. Before I realise it, the whole bottle is gone. Then two bottles. Then three. Then four. Soon I'm so drunk I can hardly stand._ _ _ _ _ _

______My heart starts racing and my chest begins to hurt. It feels like someone's putting pressure on it. I can't breathe. I collapse and the pain becomes unbearable, so I cry out for help._ _ _ _ _ _

______A bunch of the house staff come running into my room. One of them recognises this as a heart attack and calls for an ambulance. The rest of them help move me onto my bed._ _ _ _ _ _

_______Could this be how I die? _I start sobbing uncontrollably. I'll never get to tell Nick I love him.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"It's going to be okay," one of the maids says softly, trying to calm me down. "The ambulance will be here soon."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Nick." That's all I can manage._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Nick?" one of the butlers asks. "Would you like me to call Nick and let him know what's happening?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I nod, causing pain to travel through my neck. I wince._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The maid says, "Try not to move too much, Mr. Gatsby."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nick is called and the butler tells him to come to the hospital once he's out of work. He says he's leaving work early._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Even if Nick doesn't love me like I love him, he's the best friend I could ask for. Most others, if not all others, would in this moment simply not come to the hospital or even answer the phone when called if they knew my staff was on the other end. But Nick is different._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And maybe I'll go to hell for it but I love him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	10. Ten - Nick

"Where is he?" I ask the front desk staff.

"Where is who?" a blonde haired woman asks. 

"Jay Gatsby. Where is Jay Gatsby?"

"Visiting hours are over. I'm sorry but you'll have to come back tomorrow."

"No. I came to see him and you are going to let me. Now tell me where he is," I demand.

"Sir I'm sorry but-"

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" I scream. Everyone in the lobby turns to look at me. Her eyes start to water and she mumbles something. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I just… I… I'm sorry," I apologise. "I shouldn't have yelled. Please forgive me."

"It's okay." She sniffles. "He's in room 3B on the hallway to your right."

"Thank you so much. Again, I'm sorry. Thank you," I mutter. I race down the hallway until I see room 3B. The door is closed, so I knock on it gently. No reply so I open the door slightly. "Hello?"

"Hello?" a voice replies. Jay's voice. He sounds tired.

"It's Nick."

"Nick? Please come in."

I enter the dimly lit room. Jay's in bed. There's a book on the table beside him and a glass of water.

"I'm glad to see you, old sp- Nick," Jay says. 

I step closer to him. "I'm glad to see you too. You're okay?" 

"Yeah I'm okay. They want to keep me here for the night to make sure I'm okay. The doctor also wants to talk to me about something, but I asked if we could wait until you got here."

"What does he want to talk to you ab-" 

"Hello gentlemen," the doctor says as he enters the room. I turn to look at him. "You're Nick Carraway?" he asks.

"Yes that's me," I confirm his assumption.

"Nice to meet you," the doctor says. "Mr. Gatsby already knows what I want to talk to him about. Did he tell you, Mr. Carraway?"

"No not yet," I say.

"I suggested that he go to an establishment that will help him recover from his addiction."

I turn to Gatsby. "Do you want to, Jay?" 

He hesitates before saying, "Yes. I do."

"You hesitated," I state.

"He would be away anywhere from one month to a year," the doctor explains. 

I frown. "Oh." 

"But he would come back no longer addicted. The place he'd go to is right here in this hospital and has the best results out of all the options in the state." 

"That's good. Could I visit him there?" 

"Once a month there is a day where visitors can come in."

"Only once a month?" 

"Yes. However, you can call every day if you'd like." 

"Alright."

"Do either of you have any other questions?" 

Jay and I shake our heads. 

"Okay. I'll leave you two to talk about it. Someone will be here in an hour to take you to the addiction recovery unit, Mr. Gatsby," the doctor says. He then leaves the room and shuts the door.

There's a moment of silence.

"I should get dressed," Jay says quietly. 

"Do you need help? Should I step out until you're done?" I ask.

"No it's alright you can stay." 

I help him get up and hand him the clothes sitting on the foot of the bed. I turn around while he gets dressed. 

I feel Jay walk closer to me. He's directly behind me now. "You can turn around now," he says.

I turn to him. He looks handsome but tired. He grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him. 

I blush and start to ask what he's doing but he interrupts me with a kiss. I don't know whether to pull away or to kiss back. Instead of making a decision, I just stand there. 

Jay pulls away from me. "I'm terribly sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was stupid of me. I just- I've been wanting to do that for a long time and I couldn't resist. I'm going to miss you," he rambles. I smile at him and kiss him. He's the surprised one this time. His eyes are wide. "Nick? Why did you do that?" 

"I've wanted to do that for some time as well," I say.

"Nick, do you… Do you love me?"

"Yes," I answer right away. "Do you love me?"

"I do. But we couldn't ever be together."

"Says who?"

"Two men being together is an abomination," Gatsby says sadly.

"That's a lie. We deserve love just as much as a man and a woman do."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"Okay." Gatsby kisses my forehead. 

There's a knock at the door and a nurse steps into the room. "Hello. I'm here to take Mr. Gatsby to the recovery unit."

"Alright," Gatsby says. "I'll miss you, Nick. Will you call?"

"I'll call first thing tomorrow morning," I say.

Gatsby nods and begins to follow the nurse out the door. I grab his arm.

"What is it, Nick?" he asks.

"I'll be waiting for you, okay? I'll wait for you to come back and I'll love you just as much as I do today, whether it be a month or a year," I promise. 

Jay gives me a warm smile, then heads out. 

A wide grin spreads across my face. I told a man I love him and he loves me back. That's something I'd never dreamed would happen. I always imagined this moment going much, much differently.


	11. Eleven Months Later - Gatsby

"Hello Jay, please take a seat," the psychiatrist says. I sit in the cushioned chair in front of his desk. He hands me a thin packet of papers.

"What's this?" I ask. 

"The patient release information. You're leaving today."

My expression brightens. "Really?" 

"Yes."

"As in going home?"

"You've done quite well here. The other doctors and I have talked it over and decided that you're ready. All you have to do is fill out that paperwork and you're all set to go home."

"Oh this is wonderful! After I'm done with the papers can I call Nick?" 

"Of course."

I grab a pen from the container on the desk and start on the first page. The questions are information about why I was there, what I'd learned during my stay, who I'll reach out to if I need help in the future, etc.. Of course I write in Nick. He's the reason I pushed myself to get better in the first place.

"I'm done," I say when I've finished. 

"Alright. You can use this phone here if you'd like," the psych offers. 

Today is Saturday so I type in Nick's home phone number. 

He answers almost immediately. "Hello Jay! How're you today?"

"Wonderful! How are you?" I ask.

"I'm alright. What're you so happy about?"

"I'm just excited to talk to you," I say.

"That's it?" 

"Sure is," I lie. I want to surprise him by showing up at his house tonight, so I don't tell him the truth.

"I'm excited to talk to you, too."

After about five minutes, I let Nick get back to whatever he was doing. Then I call my house phone to arrange for a ride home.

I go back to my room and pack up my things. When I'm done, one of the nurses sees me out. One of my butlers from home is waiting at the front for me. I get in the car and he drives us both home. 

I drop off my things at my house, then I sneak over to Nick's. I knock on the door.

Nick opens the door. "Jay!?" 

"Hi Nick dear," I say. Nick jumps into my arms. I laugh and plant a kiss on his forehead. He blushes. 

"I thought- I thought you weren't coming back today," Nick says. 

"Well here I am."

Nick grabs my face and kisses me. "I missed you so much," he says.

"I missed you too. But now I'm back and we can be together forever."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do, love."

"But we're… We can't…"

"Yes?"

"What I mean to say is that we're both men and we can't just-"

"Nick. It'll be okay. We can live together in my house and if any of the staff have a problem with it, I'll replace them with people who won't."

"Are you sure you won't mind having me around?"

"Of course not. You'll be able to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't do anything stupid," I say, winking.

"If you're so sure, let's go."

I take his hand in mine. "Happiness awaits, my dear."


End file.
